THEMCKAYPOST

Don’t waste your energy

No one is perfect, certainly not me, and I don’t pretend to be, but I have learned a lot over the years because I keep an open mind. I listen to what other people have to say, and I study situations, always looking for the best approach, and the honest answers.

We have all heard the old saying some people use; “I don’t get mad, I get even”, and we have all known people who never forget when someone wrongs them. People who hold grudges for years, and harbor feelings of hate. I was never that kind of a guy. I have been wronged a few times, cheated in business deals, etc., and my answer is to do what I can legally (if the option exists) to recoup my losses, and I will use the very best lawyers available to me to do this, but emotionally, long before the case ever settles or goes to court, I will have moved on. In cases, where the matter is a more personal one (dishonest, plagiarizing employee, backstabbing acquaintance, or associate), I simply sever all ties to the person, and move forward. I do this quickly when such situations are discovered, both to limit my emotional involvement, and to let the individual know that I am on to them, and although they got away with something once, they will not have the chance to do it again with me.

When I say I move forward, that is exactly what I mean. I have identified a problem, eliminated it quickly and decisively, and now I can get back to the tasks at hand. I don’t hate the people who have wronged me. I don’t go out of my way to “get even” with them. I don’t hold grudges, and I don’t try to hurt their future endeavors, although once someone cheats me or otherwise wrongs me, I will not vouch for them, or recommend them. I won’t tell people exactly what they did, but if asked about them I may say something like; “Let’s just say I know from experience that so and so is less than ethical. Trust me”.

I'm not saying that I let people walk over me. I don't. Not at all. I simply handle the problem and get on with my life, and my business.

This approach works best for me, as it allows me to devote my energy to positive, productive things, rather than wasting it on trying to get back at someone, or fuming over something someone did or said.

There are very few people that I know personally who I truly dislike, and those who I do, I simply avoid. All the negative energy that it takes to hate people, to hold grudges, and to scheme to try and get even can be put to much better positive use, and that is what I try to do.

I just won’t waste my time with all the negative stuff.

The right to die with dignity

I believe in the right to die with dignity and it would appear that society is moving (ever so slowly) in this direction. It is simply barbaric to refuse to allow physicians and medical technicians to assist a person in carrying out their own will, when their condition prevents them from doing so on their own, or when they don't have the knowledge or means to do so in a comforting, pain free setting.

Read this essay by Ronald Sokol which I came upon at the International Harald Tribune

Why I hate Fanaticism; and one of the dumbest things I have heard lately

I just got in from having dinner with an old friend. Once back at my hotel I checked the blogs and news, and came upon two articles that just defy logic. One involves medicinal marijuana, the other legal sleeping aids. The irony is too ridiculous, and too sweet. Read on:

I don’t use drugs. Back in the 80’s (when I was in my twenties) I played around with coke (the powdered kind, not this “Crack” that people smoke) . I liked it too much, and it liked my wallet too much, so eventually we parted ways, and I quit.

I never cared much for marijuana, or other drugs that I tried at one point or another when I was in college, or in the later periods of my youth (hallucinogens, a few times, but no thanks, and uppers on occasion as a “study aid”).

We all know that illegal drugs are bad for our young people, and bad for adults in most cases. I do not promote the use of illegal drugs, however I do take exception with regard to the use of marijuana for medical purposes.

California (where I am right now) has legalized the use of medicinal marijuana when it is recommended for certain patients by a licensed physician, and I am all for this, since every report I have ever read indicates that there is a real benefit to many, including those on often painful, and extremely unpleasant cancer treatments (chemo, and or radiation). Only the true fanatics claim that these seriously ill, and dying patients are using this as an excuse to “get high”.

Here is a case where the federal courts have upheld the right of the federal government to prosecute a dying woman for using state approved, doctor recommended, medicinal marijuana in order to ease her pain, and help her to eat, when nausea severely hinders her ability to stomach food.

You can read the article in Yahoo! News

I can just see a jack booted team of 20 or so DEA Agents surrounding a home in Oakland, or an apartment in San Francisco, where some otherwise upstanding citizen is smoking, or perhaps even supplying pot to people who gather there, and who provide a doctors prescription before they are allowed in (this is how it works out here). “GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!”, barks a ski masked Agent. “I SAID GET DOWN NOW!”. “ANY WEPONS?”, shouts another agent. “NO, ALL CLEAR!”, comes from yet another, as a group of cancer patients ranging in age from 26 to 76 lay on the floor, handcuffed, ready to be hauled off to jail on federal narcotics violations.

Wouldn’ it be a lot better if these resources were being used to bust “meth” labs, and heroin dealers?

In an irony that can only exist in government (any government, not just ours), the FDA today issued a warning regarding approved sleep medications. All of them!

These are not rare side effects. In varying degrees, they are very common.

I know a woman in NY who has proven herself to me over time to be extremely credible (she has worked for me for three years now). She told me how she took Ambien for a problem she was having sleeping. One morning she awoke to find dried nail polish all over her sheets, and smeared on her fingers and nails. Apparently, during the night, she had gotten up and painted her nails, then before allowing them to dry, she got back in bed. She had absolutely no recollection whatsoever of doing this! She quit taking Ambien that day.

When was the last time you heard of someone using their “crazed addiction to marijuana” as an excuse for committing a crime, or for engaging in dangerous acts while sleepwalking after smoking a joint?

The fanatics would have us believe that “Refer Madness” was a true account of the dangers inherent in the use of Marijuana, and would jail anyone for using it, but as long as the pharmaceuticals are producing the drugs, and they are FDA approved, well, if people start driving their cars into ravines (or worse) because they are sleep driving, I guess that’s OK.

Where is the sense in all this?

Just two of the dumbest things I have heard lately (the list will surely grow, and it probably won't take too long)!

Why I don’t like Tattoos

I am a child of the late sixties, and seventies (born in 1960, graduated high school in 1978). I don’t have any tattoos or body piercing (I’m not against them for people who like them. I just don’t. I don’t like them on men, and I especially don’t like them on women). This is a personal preference. I know people who have these things and I like these people very much. These things are just not for me.

When I was a kid in high school, and for my first two years in college I had somewhat long hair (over the ears, and at times to my shoulders). I went to a university that is small, but well known for two things; It’s liberal arts department, and it’s school of medicine. I majored in business with emphasis on finance.

Now I wear a buzz cut, eliminated the droopy mustache (which was my pride and joy for many years, and made me feel like Al Pacino in Serpico) over 20 years ago, along with the diamond pinky ring and gold chain I briefly sported in the early eighties.

These things were fads, and fads are a part of growing up. It is all part of learning who we really are, and as we grow, we begin to express ourselves more selectively, and more defined as the individual that each of us is. The reason I don’t like tattoos is because they are permanent (or very expensive, and uncomfortable to remove, and unless the right cosmetic surgeon does it, there will be some kind of lasting scar). I wonder what some of these young people are going to do when the day comes that they don’t want to be Slash anymore (for me it was Jimmy Page). I simply cut my hair, took a shave, burned my bell bottoms and went on with my life.

Freud, where are you now?

Once or twice a year when I was a small boy growing up in Michigan, my Mother would take me through the Windsor tunnel, under the river and into Canada for the day. She would park the car and we would walk all over the streets of this small Canadian companion to Detroit. We would have lunch in a nice restaurant, and we would just “explore”. We would walk down to a beautiful park by the river bank to take photos looking across the water upon the skyline of a city which was in the United States. We were not in the U.S. anymore, and my mom made sure that I knew and understood what this meant at a very early age.

While in Windsor, my Mother used to like to visit a particular shop that featured Goebel and Hummel, and fine crystal glass wear. This store appeared small from the street, but once inside one found a deep, tall, yet tunnel like structure that grew far back, and included a small passage into the space next door! It was fascinating for a kid of seven or eight years. This was a place to explore! What other secret doors and pathways existed in this amazing dimension where they use "funny looking money" I wondered? How can I find them, and where will they take me? There was a basment. What goes on down there? I wondered with innocent childish curiosity and awe.

Before we would go into this shop, my Mother made a point of telling me something that I have never forgotten. Something that has remained with me for all these years.

This shop, although pretty large, was very crowded with glass wear of all sorts. Everything was close together, and stacked on top of each other on small display tables and shelves. Before we would go into the store, my Mother would say; “Now be careful, because if we break anything, we have to pay for it”. My Mother was so good and kind, and loving. She used the phrase; “if we break anything” instead of “if you break anything”, and although I didn’t understand the importance of the distinction then, I do now, and I will never forget it.

I went into this store, and although delighted to look about, I did so with care and caution. I had fun, but not at the expense, or disregard for my beloved Mother, who would have had to pay for my misdeeds, should I have broken anything.

Obviously, Barbara Bush was nothing like my Mother, and that is a shame.

To be continued...

Happy New Year!

It is New Years Eve, and the worst of my worries are that it may not be cold enough here in New York to make a fire in my fireplace (I'm a traditionalist on this subject, and will have nothing but real wood burning fireplaces in my residence), while I enjoy the last sip of leftover eggnog! My priorities have changed over the years, and don’t get me wrong, I have done just about everything one can possibly imagine on New Years Eve. I have snorted coke in a (working) Los Angeles fire house (they call them fire "stations" out there), been to private parties at the top of high rises in Chicago, and been to naked parties in the Hollywood Hills, but none of those things are inviting anymore.

With each passing year, more maturity sets in. A little more appreciation for what really matters in life, and a different (although still pleasant) take on memories of the past takes hold.

Sometimes I wish this kind of awakening had happened years ago, because I would have been so much farther ahead in the game of life, but in actuality, and deep down, I’m glad it happened just as it did. It has made me who I am today. It has presented opportunities that may not have come about otherwise, and taught me lessons that I may have otherwise overlooked. It has brought friends into my life that I may not have had otherwise, and re-kindled relationships that I cherish today. I really hope all of you out there are fortunate enough to be able to have the same kind of view point on this, so often missed aspect of the turn of the calender.

Happy New Year, and All the Best in 2007!

A Time to Give Thanks

If you read my earlier posts you may find them a little heavy, and The Horror of War is without a doubt a very depressing and emotional story, especially if you love animals the way I do (and we all should, but more about that in future posts). I wrote the pieces because these are things that matter to me, and should matter to everyone, but at the same time I don't want to give the impression that this blog is all about negative, critical rants, and doom and gloom. It is not, and it won't be. These early posts are simply about issues that I believe are very much worth everyones attention, and you will see more like them from time to time.

Today however, is the day after Thanksgiving. A day when many of us enjoy an extra day off from work and when we can sit back and reflect a bit, or join the insanity of frenzied black Friday shopping. I personally choose the former, and so it is also a perfect time to work on one of my pet projects which today happens to be this blog. To the seven or eight people who currently have access to it, (we are not officially public yet) you probably notice the changes I have made since you last took a look. The design aspect of this is really a lot of fun, and there is so much that you can do with TypePad once you become familiar with it, and incorporate some of your own tools (I made the banner heading at the top using Photoshop, and then added it through the custom design feature offered by Typepad). I will write about this and offer some tips to those who are just getting started in this business of blogs (as I am) in later posts.

And so here I am, playing with my toys and reflecting, on this day after Thanksgiving. A day with meaning that goes well beyond it's original purpose, and transcends races and religions. I mentioned to my Mother after our traditional dinner yesterday that because Thanksgiving has such broad meaning in our modern times, it would be a nice thing if all the countries of the free world would adopt it some day. I'm not holding my breath, but it would be nice.

There are many, many things for which I am very thankful and the list is too long to include in this post, but rest assured if you become a regular reader, you will see this list at some point soon. For now I am simply going to say that I am blessed to have a truly remarkable circle of friends and family, some of whom I shared my dinner table with last night, and one in particular who I share my life, my hopes, and my dreams with everyday. These things alone are enough to inspire humble thanks, and for all these people and all they do to make my world, and the rest of the world a better place, I am grateful beyond words. 

I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend, and I will be back with more next week.